Monday, 26 December 2011

Christ Mass

You know that mood you get in when every little thing pisses you off? I'm experiencing it just now. Every little click, every little breath, every little scrunch just makes you want to physically attack someone with a small wooden statue of a duck. I was in Glasgow today for a brief spell, and even though I generally talk about the city in a positive light, today I could not be bothered with crowds of idiots. Many thought it was a great idea to cart around their screaming, semi-aborted placenta accompaniments in car sized prams through the narrowest aisle in the shop. I persevered and got a pair of trainers that didn't have the soles hanging off.

The film that made me drink raw eggs.
Thanks a lot for that, Sly.
It's officially one year (and one day) since I started this blog. Strong sense of deja vu here, typing in the same spot I did a year ago, once again quaking under the monster that lies within my stomach (although a year ago it was my Christmas dinner, today I just need a shit quite badly). Although I'm at my parents, I was at friend's house for the festive celebrations this year. I didn't come down partly because of work, but I probably could have spent it with the family if I'd really tried. But I've being doing almost exactly the same thing for 18 years, so the change was most welcome. Because my brain had been wired to be used to a certain few things, there were a lot of times where it didn't feel like Christmas. Instead of fidgeting about in anticipation of present opening I was busy the whole day. We watched a few films, wasted time on the silly xbox kinnect and had a really nice walk on the beach with my friend's dogs. Time was also dedicated to peeling vegetables, washing vegetables, chopping vegetables, eating vegetables and watching a vegetable ('Rocky' was on after Christmas dinner). Looking back at my first blog post (I didn't have a fucking clue what I was doing, bless) but I sure enjoyed doing it, and because I abandoned a lot of tradition this year I may as well continue with a tradition of my own creation - reviewing my Christmas dinner (out of 10 this time, the superior method of reviewing).

Ham - 8/10 (although the host was a vegetarian, he was kind enough to let the rest of us chew a warm pig corpse in front of him. The glaze we made was nice. Better than Turkey).
Ricotta looks amazing. But it's
actually as bland as fuck.
Cranberry Sauce - 7/10 (completely homemade and rather good, but I ate far too much and went off it)
Spinach and Ricotta pastry thing - 6/10 (Helped the host make it when I was drunk. Interesting but not my cup of tea)
Some fried parsnip thing with seasoning - 9/10 (oh wow mmm fuck mmmmm fucking yum)
Vinegar-ey potato wedge things - 9/10 (mm oh yeah fucking taste mmm)
Roasted vegetables - (Vegetables. Roasted. Not much to say about that.  ¯\(°_o)/¯ )
Mashed potato, mashed turnip - 8/10 (Or 'neeps and tatties'. Pretty ace because I made it).
Cinnamon Waffles - 6.5/10 (Spent a while making these. Not too bad. Not particularly amazing though)

And the result of all this preparation, eating, and merrymaking? Not a blog post, that's for sugar*. But I'm glad I didn't touch a computer in that time. Going onto facebook now, I can clearly see the damage I avoided.  A cesspool of statuses bragging about the useless and uninspired shite people got for Christmas. I didn't get a whole lot this year, gift or money-wise, but I really can't complain. Not once was my enjoyment interrupted yesterday by the lack of gifts or family. My friend Adriene looked at me with wide-eyed shock when I suggested that I might not be spending the 25th with my parents and brother. Every time Adriene does this, I tend to get a bit worried too. But my theory now is little more than this: fuck tradition. Every so often I get lulled into a routine. And when you step outside that dull little routine life can be that little bit more interesting. I suppose that's me being selfish again. But there will be time for the feelings of others later.

I'm soooo tired at the moment, so I guarantee bad mistakes in this post. Hope you all had a lovely christmas.

What I'm currently listening to > \Blur - The Great Escape/

* Meant to say 'sure' but there was an error between brain and fingers. I thought I'd keep the mistake though. It might catch on. Just remember where it all started.

Thanks for reading!


  1. Saying Fuck Tradition is a great thing! I totally agree with you on that! (I think more people should just make new traditions! ones that make more sense to them!)

  2. A vegetarian allowed a ham in his/her presence? That's awesome. Not just because it shows open mindedness, but because it also means you didn't have to spend your holidays chewing on a big block of tofu (tofurkey?).

    I wouldn't be happy. That's for damn sugar.