Thursday, 24 November 2011

The Great Curve

Get the fuck out
of here
The funny thing about keeping up a blog, is that it's pretty difficult when your keyboard doesn't work. It has been slowly deteriorating for a while, and it now rests in pieces. I'll offer you readers an invaluable hint. Even when your keyboard presses return every couple of seconds so that instant messenger conversations have the consistency of diarrhea and 20 different windows of google chrome are opened up, don't punch your laptop. That's what it wants. Needless to say, the keyboard doesn't really work at all now. So this blog is being done at my university library. This is quite good in a sense, because my room is not a productive place to be. If I attempt to write an essay there I'll end up 'taking a little break' after 5 minutes. Multiple viewings of hilarious cat videos and facebook statuses later and it's time for dinner or bed. But I can be focused in the cold, mechanical library. There are no friendly faces to distract me here, just straight faced law students that iron their underwear and drink diet coke. Other things. I now do the request show every Sunday at the hospital radio. I mostly play requests, but when they run out I can stick on my own stuff. It's a lot of fun, but I'm still working out everything.

In case you didn't already know, I'm a huge fan of the band Talking Heads. My favourite album by the group is Remain in Light, a pulsing album full of hazy jams, surreal guitar work and body moving tribal rhythms. The first single off the album, Once in a Lifetime, was one of the band's most successful releases. It describes a man 'living the dream', who is just coming to terms with where he is in life.
"And you may find yourself in a beautiful house. With a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"

-"Hey, let's make sure that we have a really cool
cover for our next album!"
-"You know, we could spend 15 minutes fucking
about with it in MS paint and head to T.G.I fridays."
-"Okay, deal."
Do you ever do this? Abruptly waking up from your unconsciousness to ponder where the last few years of your life went? I did it just 5 minutes ago. I told myself I needed to pee before to university. And then a little while later I sort of came to consciousness, finding myself outside the university toilet. But just now I'm thinking about it on a grander scale. It barely seems like I've spent 3 years in university, in the back of my mind everyone looks, sounds and acts exactly the same as they did from high school. It's a bit of a shock when I find out that it's otherwise. At a time where I'm asked in countless job interviews where I think I'll be in 5 years time, I'm just starting to look past the mindless programmed answer I usually give and actually wonder. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow, 5 years old again, staring at my dinosaur posters and my burglar trap. People say that life is simple when you are young, and it pretty much is. But it doesn't make a difference because we adapt. The spelling test and getting onto the next level of Spyro are on par with financial problems and essays on law and journalistic technique. It's the same sort of level of challenge, because you don't know anything harder. My first day at school. My first interview. My first kiss. My first exam. The first time I guided Spyro into Crush's dungeon. My first essay. My first blog entry. They all gave me the same sort of feeling of heading into the unknown.
I was insanely terrified of James and the Giant Peach when I was younger, and now it just seems like a pretty flawed (although fun to watch for nostalgic reasons) kid's film. And one of the weak lines that came from the weak script was
"Try looking at it differently!!!!"

Peach Schnapps anyone?
Conveniently, this vague phrase applies to all the protagonist's problems and somehow makes everything alright. And usually I slate this sort of thing for misleading children. But I think this line is actually pretty relevant. People are very concerned with where they are heading in life. When pressure rears it's ugly potato head, a lot of people cry 'depression!' or 'stress!' If you just blame an unfair life or some non existent illness, then everything is pretty daunting. Try looking at it as another challenge. How did I get here? Who knows. Just forget about it and enjoy yourself for the time being. Life and its experiences are worth all the money in the world. Although my bank can't seem to agree with me on this.

The spell-checker doesn't work (it listed 'but' as a spelling mistake) so although I'm taking extra care there will probably be something silly regardless. Still no zombie photos. Hurry up Adrienne. If you folks give me an hour or so I'll upload 'Remain in Light' to mediafire so you can have a listen.

What I'm currently listening to > \Click-clack - The busy law students typing (I'd be listening to Talking Heads but loading up youtube crashes this shite computer)/

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

When the Wind Blows

This explosion was supposed to happen in the sky.
Shortly after this was taken, one of the fireworks hit
a window and the bushes were left smouldering.
Sorry to disappoint, but I'm having no luck on locating the few pictures that were taken of my flyboy outfit for Halloween. I feel that I did a pretty good job, apart from the fake blood that was clearly purple when seen in the light. I also spent a fair amount of time preparing for and travelling to my placement interview for the local paper (including a very last minute dash to buy a new shirt after discovering I had accidentally dripped fake blood onto my good one), only for it to last a grand total of about five minutes. I really have no idea how I did, although I can't remember saying anything too stupid. Other things; here in the UK we celebrate Guy Fawkes night (Hey, celebrating a terrorist nearly blowing up parliament isn't much worse than celebrating the arrival of religion in Ireland when you live nowhere near the place), and that went well. My experiences with fireworks aren't always the most safe, so if you guessed that me and a few others didn't follow the safety guidelines, accidentally launched a  very powerful firework at a house, ourselves and some very singed bushes, then you wouldn't be far off the mark. Also. If you ask Domino's very nicely, they'll cut a pentagram into your pizza. Who'd have thought it?

[POLITICAL/SERIOUS POST WARNING, I know this can bore some people, so sorry]

I was reading an article today, about how the UK government is backing US proposals to halt the ban on cluster bombs. To a lot of people this may not seem significant. My image of the cluster bomb is playing 'worms' and bombarding a particularly annoying opponent with multiple little explosions. That's what you get for that holy hand grenade, you bunch of twats. And I mean, war is war, right? Does it really matter *how* someone dies? Saying as how we never have any say in the matter if we go to war or not, I think it's a little better to know we aren't being as stupid as we used to be. There are a lot of things that are plain stupid about the cluster bomb. The most stupid is probably the fact that the multiple bomblets it releases lay unexploded (yet still active) for decades. In 2008, it was reported that there were still 78 million unexploded bombs in Laos, from the US's bombing missions between 1964 and 1973 in the Vietnam war

I don't seem to be able to recall this level
And we really don't have to go back far in history to see it being used. In the Yugoslavian war in 1999, the UK and the US dropped almost 1,400 cluster bombs in Kosovo. The thing that particularly disgusted me, was that the bombs were coloured with 'bright yellow and red plastic...which is particularly attractive to children'. Weapons manufacturers are arguing the case by saying that the weapon has a 1% fail rate. I'm sorry, but that's not really good enough. When these bombs are dropped, they are dropped in their millions. Are hundreds of unexploded bombs okay? This is assuming the manufacturers are telling the truth. Even if this campaign isn't successful, British weapons manufacturers will still create these bombs for countries that can legally use them. Morals go out the window where there's money to be made.

Now again, I'm sorry for the serious/political nature of the post, it probably isn't what you read my blog for. But countries like the US and the UK feel as if they have the right to bomb countries and police the world when they feel like it. We are shocked and appalled when terrorism touches our countries, even when we don't face threats of being bombed daily. The government will ignore some conflicts and openly involve itself into others. So when our countries feel the need to sign a 'less restrictive treaty', which will effectively legalize cluster bombs again, the least I can do is express my frustration at such a backwards practice. 

Heading off to the hospital radio now, need to fill out an application form for something as well. I really need a haircut now too, although it always makes me look about 10 years younger. I better hop to it. 

P.S - If I've made any mistakes or assumptions then please let me know

What I'm currently listening to > \Underworld  - Beaucoup Fish/

Thanks for reading.