Employment looks good. It might change my social life to nil, but I'm a little bit of a hermit anyway so that doesn't matter too much. It will be quite odd having money to spend. Over the past few months I've become very good at saving money. The problem is that I had to learn these little tip and tricks myself. There are plenty of money saving advice websites out there, but none of them seem to realise quite how bad my situation was. It wasn't rally drastic enough. So may I present the hesitant calamari's no holes barred top 5 ways to save money. If you are also poor, feel free to take advantage. If not, then it's always fun to laugh at other's peoples misfortune.
5. - If they say it's 'complimentary' or free, then exploit the shit out of it.
In big supermarkets there are quite often little counters that offer free samples. At busy times, you can get away with taking a few of the things, walking around the supermarket again, and helping yourself. These people see hundreds of people every day, they aren't going to be too bothered about your greed (most of the time). If you are desperate for tissues/toilet paper, public toilets often leave extra rolls lying about, and if the worst comes to the worst, McDonald's and Burger King have napkins readily available. Need to find a wedding/birthday venue? Some places charge hundreds for this sort of thing, others do it for free. Look around a little, you'll be surprised at what you can find.
4. - Lying to public transport workers.
You need a bus, but you don't quite have enough cash to get to where you want to go. No problem. Say your destination is 5 minutes away, when in actual fact it's at the other side of town. The driver doesn't really enough time to stomp out of his seat and order you out. Trains are a little different, saying as how they actually employ someone to watch out for cheap bastards like me. In that case, there's always the toilets. This, however relies on there being no ticket barriers at the station. And hey, jumping over them is an option, but that's not strictly legal territory.
3. - Supermarket bins are your new best friend.
|There used to be talking bins at my old school, like these|
scary bastards. I'd imagine they'd get pretty hostile if
you took anything from them.
2. - Don't stray from the magazine rack
Again, this one requires a large supermarket. That magazine may be a good read, but they can usually cost around £5. Stopping to browse them may prevent you from reading in a comfortable area, but it saves a fair bit. Also, libraries. That's what they are for. What difference does it make if you buy a book, really?
1. - Food isn't that expensive. Seriously, it isn't.
|Perfect if you can't afford to shell out fo-|
arrrggh fuck not a goddamned egg pun
I do hope this has been somewhat helpful, because I've avoided an essay to type this.
What I'm currently listening to > \Animal Collective - Feels/
Thanks for reading.