Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Melt Banana

60 followers now! Isn't that fantastic*? I've only really started paying attention to the number since I temporarily abandoned blogging, and my adverts mysteriously disappeared. So I'm really only doing this because. Uhm. I enjoy it? Other people enjoy reading my posts? I'm not sure. I'm sort of glad I'm not distracted by comments saying 'nice post' just so that I can comment something equally as generic and mindless just so that earn an amount of money equivalent to a single grain of rice. Admittedly, I'm assuming a lot of my followers are part of that penny grabbing clique. But if you genuinely read this filth, following or not, thanks! And if all my followers stop commenting because they realise I'm not a dedicated ad-clicker**, then I suppose it's better than living a lie. Or something like that.

The band going by the name of this post. How dare they.
Over the past few months I've completely abandoned my morning ritual of eating cereal. It's not something I've been doing consciously. I didn't eat it for a couple of days because of  the sugar levels, and I've ended up not touching the stuff for months. The whole concept of cereal is a little disgusting. Cornflakes that have been soaked in cow's milk for half an hour look and taste as appetising as dog vomit seasoned with cockroach brains. In place of this I now have a banana and eggs (which I will discuss in a later post, maybe) near enough every morning. For some reason I barely touched bananas during my childhood. But now I can't get enough of them. Contrary to popular belief, bananas grow on rhizomes, not trees, which are essentially large stems. This may seem picky, but you don't call daffodil stems trees, unless you are an idiot or if you have had a little flirtation with Lucy and her diamonds. I love bananas because they are little bursts of energy without the massive lists of bullshit you get in most energy drinks. They also contain a whole load of vitamins B6 and C, as well as potassium and fibre. They have soothing effects on ulcers, and they help your body absorb calcium more efficiently. And the benefits don't stop with the edible fruit. The inside of the skin works as well as shoe polish because of the potassium levels. And when I had unbearable itching in a particular part of my body, I rubbed the offending area with the inside of a banana skin after reading something about it soothing itches. Placebo effect? Possibly. Just putting it out there. Also, I don't recommend making people slip up on banana skins. It may be hilarious at the time, but on things like concrete that shit fucking hurts.

Away from home at the moment, attempting to find a job and work experience as per, but now also a permanent place to live on top of that. This isn't slowing my consumption of alcohol though, which is probably worrying for people who care about such things. Pretty happy with life though. Thanks for reading.

*I know, it isn't that great when there are people with thousands of followers. I'm happy nevertheless!

**Don't get me wrong, if I genuinely like your blog I'll comment and sometimes ad click, because that's the least I can do to pay you for entertaining me for a while.


  1. Congrats on the 60 followers!! :)

  2. Congrats on the 60! :)

    Also, I had to let go of cereals to; didn't have time for breakfasts. :D

  3. you have a good writing, don't worry, soon you will have your hundreds of followers (look at me being one more in the crowd!)

  4. Congrats on the followers. Myself, I'm more of an artery-clogger in the mornings. Bacon, eggs, coffee, and butter slathered toast: all the makings of a debilitated circulatory system.

  5. Pay attention to us! PLEASE!?

  6. I’m not sure I would want comments from people who are only interested in me for my ad clicking ability, that sounds like the start of an abusive relationship. I want to interact with people who enjoy what I produce and who create interesting, funny, though provoking blogs not sales adds (Ok I’m highlighting a friends watch business at the moment but I make no money from it, just want to see him do well)….

    Better a small interesting following than a large bowl of “love your blog…how much can I earn from you”

    Breakfast – try porridge, easy to make (well it is for Mrs B, she lolls around in bed until I bring her up a cup of tea and a bowl of porridge, she’s not a morning person) and like banana’s is a good slow release food. Obviously not as good on the comedy effect front but you can have hours of fun trying to get the bowl clean if you don’t wash it straight away (the stuff sets like cement).