Thursday, 7 April 2011

The Kids Don't Like It but the Folks Approve

My mother, bless her, despite never reading this blog, gave me some excellent words of wisdom. "How the hell can you get inspiration for your blog if you never step outside your flat?". A slight exaggeration, but nevertheless, in there lies a dirty little truth. As you've seen from my past blogs I sometimes get a little lazy. So I go out during the day often, for a little run into town even if it amounts to nothing. But aside from playing with a cat when I was drunk, and walking along a street with a squirrel following on the wall beside (yes, I actually regard those as highlights in my increasingly boring weeks), the irony is that most of the noteworthy things in my life have happened at the flat. I stood on my headphones and broke them, I broke my mobile phone, and I broke the dishwasher. And my parents came up.

Derrick the racist dung beetle;
only included in a deleted scene 
Now yes, it's nice to see my folks. But this weekend was like an extended version of the recent phone calls I've been having from my mother (nagging, nagging, nagging), complete with disappointed facial expressions and the folding of arms. But perhaps worse than this is looking at a parent as they tap their hand impatiently in a particular way that reminds you - you did that exact same thing the night before. Whether we like to admit it or not, we pick up a lot from the folks. I'm told that I have my mother's eyes and my father's temper. My mother's ability to see the worst in people, and my father's love for the band Queen. And like how I'm glad that folks came up, but I also get a little tired of their presence, I'm glad I inherited a few traits, and relieved that my views are also a little different. My dad is one of those 'traditionally racist' sorts of people. He'll say "Oh typical, it's a bunch of fucking wogs blocking the road" or "Those slanty eyed bastards in the Chinese are fucking ripping us off again", but without having any desire to clear them off the face of the earth. So I'm pretty glad I'm not a carbon copy of my dad. And not just because of the hair-loss (which hopefully won't be happening anytime soon). Despite the general feeling that better technology is making us lazier, I'd like to think that in some respects, we are actually evolving. For example the way we view others. Thinking about it, aren't we just taking ages to reach normality? I haven't ever heard of racist dung beetles or homophobic chimpanzees. Maybe I haven't been watching David Attenborough's documentaries close enough.

Life updates - not much. There's something I'd like to complain about, but I'm not sure if that person reads this blog or not. It could be you!!!!!11111. Have a few essays and stuff, which I'm not panicking about (even though I really should be). Also if the 'A Beer from the Shower' people are reading this, I had a dream about you guys telling me I was cool. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Another drunk blog tm. Thanks for reading!


  1. Makes me think that I need to get out more. lol.

  2. If you leave a bowl of liquor out for the cat or squirrel, things might get more interesting...rabies-interesting.

  3. You sir, are so very cool. Not because you posted a picture of a racist dung beetle. And not because you posted this while drunk (which should frankly be the only way a blog is posted), but because you post about your parents in a way that I can relate to. As an unemployed, aspiring writer, I can assure you that you aren't the only one getting disappointed grimaces from a parent...