Modest Dog

Pictures of wasps make my skin crawl, so here's
Sting looking like a twat instead

There are a lot of bad things about getting up early. Everybody knows how ghastly it feels to wake up to a bleating alarm, emerging from the warm hug of your bed covers to the cold and unforgiving world of being awake. But there is one thing I hate even more, and that is the brief, terrifying intermissions that come on show in your head during the 10 minute snoozes. This morning I had to rise at 8 o' clock for the first time in months. I ignored the first alarm, and hit snooze. Falling asleep pretty quickly, I looked over the side of the bed. A number of wasps were crawling about on the floor. Many more were emerging from various items of clothing. Ants, beetles, and a number of other disgusting insects followed, with some taking flight and landing on my face. It was then that I actually woke up in a cold sweat. With much effort, I turned my head to the floor to find out it was just another sick dream. But those vile thoughts lingered for another 5 minutes as I groggily put my clothes on. Ugh. The past week has been uneventful, up until the start of the weekend. On the Friday, I went to a party at a friends, which kicked off an entire weekend of drinking, acting like an idiot, and meeting some great new people. According to sources I ate a BLT sandwich naked in front of two people I'd known for 2 days. I also attacked my boyfriend in my sleep. Again. Elbowing him hard in the face can be added to
-Slapping his face (twice)
-Punching him in the chin
-Attempting to wrench his fingers from his arm
-Spitting in his face
-Talking nonsense to him, which ranges from mumbling about the process of animation to shouting about utility bills
All while unconscious. Aren't I romantic?

I hope you enjoyed last week's post, but I'm leaving part 2 until next week because I think it's a bit repetitive to do two music blogs in a row. This week I'm going to do a review. My last one seemed to go okay, although I gave everything the same rating and I became increasingly aggressive even though the alcohol was pleasant. This week's items are not alcoholic, but I have nevertheless decided to drink some booze in order to review fairly and accurately. The products I will be reviewing this week are the four limited edition flavours brought out by Nestle for the kit-kat. My blog description says I have a love of cider and a sweet tooth. I've yet to expose my sweet tooth to the blogging world so I thought 'why not?'

Kit-kats. Four of the bastards.

So here's the deal - kit-kat is keeping one of these flavours based on the votes on their website. I assume the winner will be the one with the most votes, but these sort of things never seem to work out. My drink of choice is 2 litres of cheap cider, so to to give you a comparison I'm about as drunk as when I finished those three bottles in my last review. I still have 2/3s of the bottle to go. Videogame of choice is Spyro 2, the first flavour is white chocolate. Here we go!

I have to say that white chocolate works surprisingly well with the biscuit on my first impression. This is, however, my first bite. By the end I'm going to be on the verge of vomiting and my teeth will be reduced to dust. It reminds me that I rather like chunky kit-kats. The chocolate is always thick enough and the wafer adds a bit of depth. I doubt that will change much with each flavour. I can't say much else, really. Nestle have white chocolate sussed (Exhibit A: Milky Bars) so you can pretty much imagine what it is like.
7/10

Fuck, these monkeys are hard to kill. 'Sparx' the dragonfly takes the hits for Spyro, so the poor bastard is getting rocks battered against his tiny frame while Spyro chills. I really love this game, fantastic soundtrack too. You know, I used to have a bit of a crush on sp- uhm ahem...yeah, the next kit-kat. Orange! I could eat this normally, but these guys aren't Terry's when it comes to chocolate orange. That piled on top of the fact that a lot of folk aren't keen on orange anyway gives me the gut feeling that this won't win. Not too bad though.
6.3/10

It's just a cartoon dragon you sick fuck, you get
no captions tittering about how 'horny' he is

Yeah, you have to flame the monkeys at the top of your jump, and you have to be really close as well. There are some snails elephants that don't die from the charge attack too, which is a bitch because they are pretty fast. This game really makes me miss the age of platforming games. I don't know if I don't see them as much because shooters have taken over in general, or because I've simply grown out of them. I remember playing a Playstation 2 version of Spyro, and although it wasn't that different it lost a lot of its charm. Ah. Peanut butter now. This is a controversial one for me. In the states, the yanks have fully embraced peanut butter and sugary treats. But I remain distinctly British. My tongue just doesn't seem to appreciate the blend even though I love both separately. But I like this one. A lot. The peanut butter is smooth and creamy, for some reason I just can't like crunchy peanut butter. It isn't loaded with the stuff to a disgusting degree, so I'm very happy. So far this has my vote. Very good.
8.2/10

Double chocolate now. Don't know what to say about this one, really. There is another layer of slightly different chocolate under the main skin. As much as I like chocolate, it's just 'okay' and the concept feels half-arsed. I thought they might have done something to the wafer at least. Again, it isn't making me throw up but it isn't really winning my heart over. Bland.
5.8/10

I'm giving this an abrupt ending, because the booze and the early start this morning are slowly hypnotising me. Part 2 of my 2011 music is coming up next week, so keep yer eyes on this blog.

What I'm currently listening to > \Public Image Ltd - Flowers of Romance/

Thanks for reading!

The Great Curve

Get the fuck out
of here

The funny thing about keeping up a blog, is that it's pretty difficult when your keyboard doesn't work. It has been slowly deteriorating for a while, and it now rests in pieces. I'll offer you readers an invaluable hint. Even when your keyboard presses return every couple of seconds so that instant messenger conversations have the consistency of diarrhea and 20 different windows of google chrome are opened up, don't punch your laptop. That's what it wants. Needless to say, the keyboard doesn't really work at all now. So this blog is being done at my university library. This is quite good in a sense, because my room is not a productive place to be. If I attempt to write an essay there I'll end up 'taking a little break' after 5 minutes. Multiple viewings of hilarious cat videos and facebook statuses later and it's time for dinner or bed. But I can be focused in the cold, mechanical library. There are no friendly faces to distract me here, just straight faced law students that iron their underwear and drink diet coke. Other things. I now do the request show every Sunday at the hospital radio. I mostly play requests, but when they run out I can stick on my own stuff. It's a lot of fun, but I'm still working out everything.

In case you didn't already know, I'm a huge fan of the band Talking Heads. My favourite album by the group is Remain in Light, a pulsing album full of hazy jams, surreal guitar work and body moving tribal rhythms. The first single off the album, Once in a Lifetime, was one of the band's most successful releases. It describes a man 'living the dream', who is just coming to terms with where he is in life.

"And you may find yourself in a beautiful house. With a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"


-"Hey, let's make sure that we have a really cool
cover for our next album!"
-"You know, we could spend 15 minutes fucking
about with it in MS paint and head to T.G.I fridays."
-"Okay, deal."

Do you ever do this? Abruptly waking up from your unconsciousness to ponder where the last few years of your life went? I did it just 5 minutes ago. I told myself I needed to pee before to university. And then a little while later I sort of came to consciousness, finding myself outside the university toilet. But just now I'm thinking about it on a grander scale. It barely seems like I've spent 3 years in university, in the back of my mind everyone looks, sounds and acts exactly the same as they did from high school. It's a bit of a shock when I find out that it's otherwise. At a time where I'm asked in countless job interviews where I think I'll be in 5 years time, I'm just starting to look past the mindless programmed answer I usually give and actually wonder. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow, 5 years old again, staring at my dinosaur posters and my burglar trap. People say that life is simple when you are young, and it pretty much is. But it doesn't make a difference because we adapt. The spelling test and getting onto the next level of Spyro are on par with financial problems and essays on law and journalistic technique. It's the same sort of level of challenge, because you don't know anything harder. My first day at school. My first interview. My first kiss. My first exam. The first time I guided Spyro into Crush's dungeon. My first essay. My first blog entry. They all gave me the same sort of feeling of heading into the unknown.
I was insanely terrified of James and the Giant Peach when I was younger, and now it just seems like a pretty flawed (although fun to watch for nostalgic reasons) kid's film. And one of the weak lines that came from the weak script was
"Try looking at it differently!!!!"


Peach Schnapps anyone?

Conveniently, this vague phrase applies to all the protagonist's problems and somehow makes everything alright. And usually I slate this sort of thing for misleading children. But I think this line is actually pretty relevant. People are very concerned with where they are heading in life. When pressure rears it's ugly potato head, a lot of people cry 'depression!' or 'stress!' If you just blame an unfair life or some non existent illness, then everything is pretty daunting. Try looking at it as another challenge. How did I get here? Who knows. Just forget about it and enjoy yourself for the time being. Life and its experiences are worth all the money in the world. Although my bank can't seem to agree with me on this.

The spell-checker doesn't work (it listed 'but' as a spelling mistake) so although I'm taking extra care there will probably be something silly regardless. Still no zombie photos. Hurry up Adrienne. If you folks give me an hour or so I'll upload 'Remain in Light' to mediafire so you can have a listen.

What I'm currently listening to > \Click-clack - The busy law students typing (I'd be listening to Talking Heads but loading up youtube crashes this shite computer)/

Thanks for reading.